What you see transpiring in your life is the story of your subconscious programming. Subconscious beliefs and patterns are programmed in childhood, and determine our sense of value and worth, attitudes, behaviours and how we perceive our experiences as we grow up.
The subconscious mind takes up 95% of our day-to-day processing. It is extremely powerful. Unfortunately much of it contains negative beliefs. This is because we have downloaded these patterns during a time of fragility and vulnerability as children.
As children our brains are not mature enough to objectively understand the experiences we have. When life feels threatening, we consciously and/or subconsciously feel unsafe, quick to assume we are at fault, or there is something wrong with us. This deeply affects our self-esteem and causes us to feel shame.
The primary job of the subconscious at this time is not about the condition of our esteem, but to make sure we survive. This means we develop whatever patterns are necessary to ensure that those around us value us enough to look after us. These fear-based patterns do a very good job at the time. However, as we grow up, they no longer work for us. In fact, what they are actually doing is holding us back in the original fears and vulnerability that formed them. This prevents us taking chances, doing something new and flowing with all the ups and downs of life.
The conscious mind only takes up the remaining 5% of our thinking. Even if our conscious thoughts are positive and we have the very best intentions to get what we want in life, it is very difficult to stay focused on the positive when the subconscious is already programmed with negative beliefs.
Willpower is not enough on its own. Trying to change behaviours using willpower or affirmations alone is likely to end up failing. This is because willpower uses up energy and when that energy decreases or something else comes up that you need to put energy into you will easily fall back into the power of the old patterns.
If your subconscious patterns are to change you need to look at and understand the subconscious psychological dynamics that are driving your behaviour. By reprogramming the subconscious it will support you even if willpower runs dry. Reprogramming the subconscious is critical if you want to move on from your childhood subconscious beliefs.
Related article: Key to being able to stay present.